i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
