A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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