I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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