He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
