that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Naked Twister starts at high noon
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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