we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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