I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
