if only i could text you this smell
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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