i barfeds in our rink
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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