remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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