i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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