Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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