Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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