3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
