Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
