Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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