he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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