um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
