I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
