Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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