whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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