Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize