Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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