it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
