You just made me feel so damn special
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
