I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize