His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize