Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
