Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
