my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
