we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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