Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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