Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
