So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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