If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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