Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
