overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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