Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
