If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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