so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
