i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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