At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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