Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
