you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
