i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize