ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
