how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
