please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
