I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
