My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I skipped work to stalk him.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
