my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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