Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
