just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
