used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
