um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
