who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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