He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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