i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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