I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
