I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
