I must be too annoying 4 u.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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