I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
