is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
