I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You ruined the universe
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize