last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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