people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
