Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
