Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
