11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
