So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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