It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
