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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.

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• (661): View more from California

  ever feel bored AND lazy?

  (805): View more from California

  I call it "awake" but yeah...

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.

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