And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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