I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
